The incredible Halong Bay where I free climbed the limstone islands from a kayak and jumped from 10 meters. Deep-water soloing (DWS), also known as psicobloc, is a form of solo rock climbing that relies solely upon the presence of water at the base of a climb to protect against injury. Does it get any better?!?
Trip highlights from India to Saigon (the rest of Vietnam to come).
Delhi:
- Running away from our driver Sennai after he tried to exhort us--only to find ourselves on a rickshaw with two bicycle drivers who also tried to exhort us.
- The most unfortunate part is that we have met other travelers who cannot help but sing India's praises. I find myself wondering if we were really in the same country, or if I missed did something that made me look like a target. Just yesterday, an Austrian guy told us how everywhere he went, people would stop and offer him free rides and directions--this includes public transit. Our experiences, on the other hand, would begin with a stranger offering a free ride or agreeing to one price just to turn around at the end of the trip and try to take us for everything we had.
- It wasn't ALL bad...
Agra:
- The Taj Mahal. It is not just another cultural landmark. The symmetry of the Taj truly is breathtaking.
- A Taiwanese man serenades us. He tells us that next year he will bring his girlfriend to the Taj where he will sing to her, and proclaims, "when I cannot control myself, I touch her...yes, I touch her." Lovemaking "to the sound of the sun and rain" is his favorite past time.
- Being driven to a marble factory where they sell "flying marble," packed small for easy transport. Of course, I bought several tables and other goods, which I now carry in my small backpack. Airlines have yet to complain about my 300 kg bag. I still cannot comprehend what our taxi driver was thinking. Does it really look like I am interested in buying silk carpets and inlaid marble? I barter over the price of water in order to save 10 cents.
Darjeeling:
- Freezing cold showers were unnecessary because although the posted time for hot water was 6:30am (an ungodly hour), the hotel gladly provides hot water upon request. This was news.
- Buying awful tea from Happy Valley Tea Factory, the exclusive tea manufacturer for Harrod's. We tried several times to make it drinkable before abandoning the box.
- Ordering 9 different types of liquid during one meal. I was thirsty that day.
- Having a severe allergic reaction to our moldy hotel room; itchy eyes, runny nose, and sneezing barely describe the symptoms.
- Taking the toy train, India's oldest operating long distance steam train. It was loud, a little smokey, and super slow.
- Trying to figure out what place Wes Anderson visited when he imagined "The Darjeeling Limited."
- Getting angry at Mr. Anderson for making us believe that India was like the movie.
- Drafting letters to Mr. Anderson.
- Watching monkey's fornicate; it was better than the discovery channel.
Nepal:
- Sleeping 3 to a bed with 12 blankets to keep warm.
- Playing card games for 48 hours straight while waiting out a monsoon.
- Begging the women who ran the home stay to give us more fire wood--she rarely obliged.
- Freezing our asses off in the Himalayas in an attempt to get a look at Everest.
- Downing a local drink made with mustard seeds and beer.
- Playing essence: Who is mayo, pastel, a serrated knife, and Eric from Gossip Girl?
- Seth: "Wait, I am actually offended about being called a turkey baster. Are you calling me empty? Am I an empty vessel that sucks things up and puts them back into the world?" Me: "No, you are just fat."
The Train from NJP to Varanasi:
- The dead bodies at Patna station.
- Being surrounded by 50 Indian men when we tried to get a car to take us for the final leg of our journey. They moved in so close that we couldn't move. Swarming from all sides and mobbing us. Apparently, we were a spectacle. Meanwhile, no one notices the two dead bodies covered in flies a few feet from where we stood.
- Avery sleeps for 20 hours while we take shifts watching the bags.
- Getting bumped to 3rd tier A/C car, and then getting strong armed by the conductor.
- Buying tickets for the General Seating car a.k.a the cattle car. Imagine faces pressed against metal bars, arms reaching out desperately feeling for some cool air, and people in the most inhumane conditions.
- Our train is indefinitely delayed.
- On the train, we were some of the only people who had purchased an individual bed. Most people slept two to a bed with two or three other people on the floor between them. Feet and hands poked out from every crevice. Eyes peered over the beds and in between broken boards. The stares were unnerving and the smells were revolting. People slept in feces near the bathrooms--lying in the dark space between cars too weak to move. Our train crept along at a pace that makes the FDR during rushhour seem like an abandoned highway in middle America. Peddlers of all ages hopped on and off the train selling fried breads and unsanitary foods wrapped in newspaper. The whole experience felt like a nightmare from which one cannot wake. I kept thinking that if I only pinched myself a bit harder, I would wake up somewhere comfortable or tolerable, but all I could see were hundreds of people, poor, dirty, and desperate. I clutched my passport and money belt tighter.
Varanasi:
- Avery leaves.
- Stealing internet daily.
- Watching 10 minutes of Darjeeling Limited before the file corrupts.
- Taking pictures of dead bodies on the Ganges River. Two men approach us and demand money for our "sins;" they grab us by the arm and tell us that we need to delete the photos and pay them or we will go to tell. We quickly walked away.
- Having massive diarrhea after Brown Bread Bakery
- Cheese and lemon chicken at Brownie's.
- Pimp my Rocket Rickshaw--the most tricked out rickshaw in India, complete with a sub 3 foot sub, pleather seats done in florescent colors, and other trimmings.
- Fasting after a very uncomfortable bout of Big D, then drinking a bottle of Sprite and eating an ice cream before passing out at 6pm. Pooping THAT much really takes alot out of you, literally.
- Extinguishing our Ganges candle before it hit the water.
- When the gates opened at Hotel Surya, we thought we had found the Garden of Eden. Blue lights bathed the secure campus, music played, and westerners and locals danced and enjoyed food on the lawn. Did I mention that the place also had a pool?
Koh Chang:
- XANAP
- Searching for a "complete" massage. We found it, but we didn't purchase.
- Riding 3 to a motorbike like it's normal.
- Getting into an accident.
- Spending 500 USD on 2 stitches and a few pieces of gauze.
- The club in White Sands and Nuree and his questionable crew.
- Living through a psych experiment: How long can one person with no ability to help listen to another person scream out in pain?
- Flipping into a waterfall
- Thai Lady Boys
- Banana pancakes and Pad Kee Moo--how I miss you. The food in Thailand was incredible.
Sri Lanka:
- Being handicapped in the airport and demanding wheel chairs.
- Needing fit to fly certificates.
- Refusing to allow the airline to assist us on our wheelchairs after an hour long battle with Cathay Pacific.
- Getting exhausted trying to roll to customs and tolerating a push.
- Eating two meals on the plane
- Driving south for 6 hours in a --CENSORED--
- Surprise safari! We cruise through the national park looking at elephants, monkeys, birds, and leopards. We also watched huge crocs tear a buffalo to shreds.
- The daily question: --CENSORED-- Reliving that uncomfortable moment when the bill comes and you aren't sure if it's polite to offer to pay/insist on paying or simply to appreciate someone's hospitality. This persisted for a week.
- The elephant research site: Sleeping 2 to a twin bed.
- Excruciating chest pains from a broken rib
- Forming a band during one lengthy car ride down the coast.
- Classy dinner with Seneka, a world famous artist and friend of the Melnick family.
- Drinking 2 kilos of tea a day
- Talking about black holes in Odels
- Using echolocation to find each other in the dark ("Oh there you are. How did you find the bathroom without me?")
- When it hurt to laugh....for a week
- "Tolerating" things e.g. --CENSORED--
- 10,000 termites swarm in the rainforest during a storm
- Baby elephants at the orphanage
- Making grapefruit chicken and potatoes (a.k.a. --CENSORED--)
- --CENSORED--
- "Just hop in the car!" I cannot get enough of Pruthu.
***If you are interested in the CENSORED material, please email me.***
TOO HOT FOR TV
Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon/HCMC)
- My My Arthouse Hostel
- Being propositioned daily AND nightly by the woman who ran our hostel
- The War Museum and Cu Chi tunnels where we learned more about the reality of the Vietnam War than any course could convey.
- American Killer Hero: a real medal of honor during the Vietnam War
- The LG Sign debacle. Seth gets lost in HCMC, and can't find the GIANT LG sign where we are supposed to meet. He goes to bed angry and refuses to talk to us until after breakfast.
- Taking in a solo traveler named Emma, and asking her not to rob us of our passports or kidneys. (We meet Emma Part II in Hoian: A much cooler girl by the name of Emily, who spent a few days with us--looking forward to seeing you in London!)
Random:
- Treat Money (40 baht), designated as group money to be spent on treats.
- Infinite access to Mentos, my reward for putting a greeting card back in it's plastic wrapper.
- The Big Green Bug (I really thought you would like it, Jess.)
- Locking Jess in the bungalow.
The Band:
- Name: elephanTECHNO
- Songs: XANAP, I fell (off my motorbike) for you, Banana flavored Lydocane, Chinese Poker Face (ft. Lady Gaga), Grapes in the grass, Youth in Asia, Be my Thai Lady Boy tonight, I can't run away from you because you have my shoes
- Bonus Track: TGAG
Infinite Reality, a haiku
Sitting in Thai port,
Chest pain, extreme emotion.
Will it ever end?
(no.) a haiku response from Jess
Infinite chest cramps?
Shut the fuck up already!
I have a leg hole.
